Year 7 and beyond boys chat up lines

“Oh dear god, is this really where we’re at in our house at the moment…” I’m afraid it is Simon!

Ever since the mighty Fast Kid 2 had sex education lessons last year there’s been an underlying, actually not underlying, overt use of sexual references, sayings, mis-meanings in pretty well most conversations we’ve had. I think that that says more about me than it does him, but i’ll gloss over that. 

And since that time we’ve he’s also been starting to ramp up the chat up lines… so without further ado 

I give you Fast Kid 2’s chat-up line directory!

Best Chat up Lines

  • Is your name Google? Because you’re all i’m searching for.
  • Your dad must be a thief because he stole the stars and put them in your eyes
  • If I were to rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together
  • I must be in heaven because I can see an angel
  • Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
  • Are you a magician because when I see you everyone else disappears.
  • If I were a stop light I would turn red every time you went past just so I could look at you a little bit longer.
  • If you were a vegetable you’d be a cute-cumber.
  • I seem to have lost my phone number can I have yours.
  • Can I follow you home because my parents told me always follow your dream.

Some old ones that Grandad Fast would have used ;-)

  • Here’s 10p – go phone your mum and tell her you won’t be coming home tonight
  • You’re under arrest. The charge – trespassing in my dreams
  • Is that a ladder in your tights or a stairway to heaven?
  • You must be tired because you’ve been running through my mind all day
  • If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me?
  • Do you have a map? Because I keep getting lost in your eyes
  • Get your coat you’ve pulled.

Some smutty ones… 

  • Sorry, I couldn’t think of any!!!

Thanks for reading and now it’s…

Your turn!

Are there any female chat up lines out there?


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